• 井伊直弼: after the 茶事, the host should wait at the entry of the 露地 until the guests are out of sight. It would be a pity if the guests saw him close the gate, destroying all that was before. Then, the host shouldn't hurry, but return to the room, and think back of the gathering, and maybe enjoy a bowl of tea himself.
• Rodrigues in CQ80 gives an excellent account on what's the general procedure.
• CQ82 describes how the first half of the 茶事, when the food is served, is governed by the principle of yin (darkness, secrecy); and the second half, by contrast, when the tea is served, by the principle of yang. Unless, of course, you are doing a 夕ざり, where those are inverted.
• Conceptional references are best foreshadowed or explained, so the guests have the joyful experience of discovering the reference themselves. For example, in my 1st of August 茶事, my 灰型 was in the shape of Mt. Matterhorn. So on the invitation, I had sent a picture of the same, so the guests can rediscover it during the 茶事.
• Larry explained in 22 that even though in Japan you can pay people to do it for you; the 灰型 (and cleaning of the toilet) are the minimum things that the host should do himself during a 茶事.

• 夜咄
• 朝茶事: Start around 0600 to escape summer heat. Directly 初炭 with 風炉中の拝見, then abbreviated 懐石: No 焼物, instead 預け鉢 and 5 or 7 pickles. 続き薄茶.
• 暁の茶事: The dawn 茶事, mainly done in 炉 (for 風炉, it's the 朝). One of the highlights is watching the wet 釜 dry while 懐石 is served. It starts at 0400, so the host stays up all night to prepare.
• 夕ざり: You time the 中立 to be around sunset, so 懐石 is enjoyed in sunlight, and tea at candle light.

• Decide date (at least a month away) and guests, check for allergies (including cats!) and food preferences. You'd traditionally send the written invitation a few weeks before the 茶事, but for me, it is easiest to send the written invitation directly. This creates additional binding character, and people don't cancel last minute. The letter contains time, address, other guests and, for me, the explanation that the 前礼 can be done by phone (don't forget to include the phone number).
• Also book a friend for the general rehearsal about two weeks before.
• Plan out the 茶事.
  • For me, it works pretty well if I read the Almanac, write out a few seasonal words, decide on the overall structure of the 茶事, and then start to fill in the blanks. The 懐石 book is a good place to find more ideas, as well as my seasonal pages.
  • For the 御銘, it tends to work well for me if I try to find a triad for 茶入, 茶碗 and 茶杓 modeled after 雪月花. So something water-y, something celestial and something nature-y. Id. for 香銘, 茶銘 and 御銘 of the お菓子, but here it's harder.
  • I tend to overdo it: Cut cut cut once I have my plan!
• Order stuff as soon as possible. Usually, that means: 足袋, 茶巾, 茶筅, 箸 (for guests and sweets), possibly more tea
• Start on the pickles if they need a long time

懐石:

中立 ff.:

• Two weeks before: Try to have a dress rehearsal at least two weeks before
• Two days before (or more), get out all the 道具 (and their names and makers!), arrange them in the atelier. Prepare the 炭斗 already and stuff like that. It's very helpful for me to have a master script printed out or written down with what needs to happen when during the 茶事 and the set phrases!
• One day before
  • Clean room, house and garden, do the 灰型 if necessary
  • Shop ingredients
  • Pre-cook what you can (dashi, parched rice, …).:
  • Also, look for flowers
  • 前礼: Make sure to explain the inverted 待合s, that they should wait outside and arrive between 15' and 0' minutes early.
• On the morning before, get water, clean the garden again, then start cooking. For me, it usually takes about 4 hours of preparation; and then I'd like to be still for about an hour. During this time, you can prepare:
  • 味噌
  • seasonal ingredient for 味噌汁
  • 向付 (already plated)
  • 碗物 ingredients
  • 箸洗い liquid
  • 八寸 (already plated)
  • 香の物 (already plated)
  • 主菓子 (already plated)
  • 干菓子 (already plated)
  • sieve teas
  • prepare flowers

👉 When you say the 茶事 starts at 12:30, the guests will aim to arrive at 12:15. They are not supposed to enter if they don't see the 打水, but that can't be guaranteed.

• 30' before (and 15' before they arrive), launch charcoal, 打水 and 煙草盆, l; start warming ingredients.
• Generally, always be two steps ahead.

This is for 朝茶事, but most things here apply to all 茶事 types!

• 路地
  • Tilt charcoal in 煙草盆 to the left.
  • Come with the bucket, spill some around the つくばい, then clean your hands and mouth. Pour the rest in it. Place the ladle opening to L.
  • Then come out and bow.
  • In my setup, because 待合 and 腰掛待合 are switched, the guests wait outside and I come with my portable つくばい, spill some, purify myself, then silent bow.
  • While they enter the tea room, take in the 煙草盆 and refill the つくばい. (Normally, the 半東 does that.)
• 席入り:
  • Open door, 総礼 outside. Then the guests ask you to come in, then each comes forth with their 扇子 and sais their phrase. Then at the first guest asks about the scroll and other 道具 in the 待合.
• 炭
  • Bow at the door, then lay the charcoal.
  • Put out the 香合 (shifting in 風炉, and while you're there, pick up the 釜).
  • Here they might ask for 風炉中拝見, in which case you leave (in the case of 続き薄茶 later).
  • Bow with the 香合, then say 「湯づけをさしあげます」 or 「粗飯(そうはん)…」(that's what KM prefers, the books say「お湯づけを差し上げたく存じます」, but it sounds a bit pompous or convoluted)
• 懐石
  • The door is closed, you open it with the first tray. Hand it to the guest, shift back a bit, and bow. Do that for every guest, then at the door say 「お箸、おとりあげを」. Close the door.
  • Open door with 酒 and cups. Sit in front of the first guest, turn the cups and place them on the R of their tray (from their perspective). Pour sake for everyone, leaving with the 酒. Door stays open.
  • Enter with 飯器 and sit in front of the first guest. Separate tray and 飯器, place spoon in it, reach out with the tray and say: 「おつけいたしましょう」, but the guest should decline. So you turn the 飯器 and give it to them; stretch out the tray again to get their 汁椀. Come back with a new one, and serve every one from the round tray. At the last guest, the 飯器 should have already arrived there, so you put your tray on it after serving them and take the whole stack with you. Again, leave the door open.
  • Enter and serve 煮物 (first guest from the round tray, rest from the long one). Only give a slight nod when serving them, because at the door you bow and say 「どうぞ温かいうちに、お召し上がりください」(though for my 朝茶事, I could say: 「氷がとけていないうちに、お召し上がりください」). Door stays open
  • Enter with the 2^nd 酒, serving everyone, and leaving it with the 詰.
  • Come in with the 預け鉢 (already turned to face the first guest), leave it with them. You'd come in for the third rice now, but I don't like to do that. So sit in the 茶道口, and say: 「水谷で相伴（しょうはん）させていただきますので、ご用（よう）があればお手をおならしください」. First guest asks you to join, but you decline and close the door.
  • When the 詰 has brought everything to the 茶道口 (and the 盃台 to the first guest), open the door and apologise: 「おしょうばんいたしましたが、ふかげんで」, but they say it was 結構.
  • Come in with the 小吸物碗, give a small bow and change for the 煮物碗. At the door, say 「どうぞお吸いあげを」. Leave door open, and come in with 八寸.
• 八寸:
  • Sit in front of main guest, and pour 酒. Then say 「蓋を拝借します」and take their lid to give them 海の物, putting it in front of them (in the middle of their tray). Do this for everyone.
  • Come back to the main guest, and say 「どうぞお流れを」. They will say something about giving you their cup. You turn the pitcher and the 八寸盆, putting it towards their R; while their put their cup on the stand, turn it and put it towards your R.
  • The second guest pours you a drink, while the first guest puts some nibbles on their 懐紙 for you. They turn the 八寸盆 again, and then the next guest will say 「お流れを」.
  • Now you're in a pickle, because you don't have a cup! So you ask the main guest 「盃をしばらく拝借を」. You clean the cup, pour them a drink, and put the pitcher to the next guest.
  • Meanwhile, give 山の物 to the first two guests.
  • Then you go to the third guest, get some 酒 from them, you clean the cup and then pour them a drink. They clean the cup, and pour another one for you.

➡️ In my case, if I have only two guests: I get a drink from the second guest while the first one puts food on their 懐紙. Instead of then pouring directly for the second guest, I give here 山の物 to both of them. Ideally, the 詰 then says「お流れを」, and you can ask the main guest for their cup. Clean their cup, then pour the 詰 a drink, giving them back the pitcher. They pour one for you (again).

• You take the 台 on the 盆 (top R corner), and the pitcher, and go to the main guest. Give them the stand, and thank them saying 「ながながと、ありがとうございました」. Pour them one, they clean their cup, pour you a last one.
• Now you want to take away their cup for good, so you ask them 「どうぞご納め（おさめ）盃を」, and they reply 「納め盃させていただきます」. Then they get greedy, and also ask for water 「どうぞお湯を」.
• Tidy up the 八寸, put the stand on the top R, your 懐紙 on the bottom left, and take off.
• 懐石, pt. 2:
  • Come in with the long tray (handle of the 湯斗 to the L), place the pickles to the R of the main guest, open the lid of the 湯斗 to sneak in the scoop, turn it (so that the handle is to your R, their L). Steal all their 小吸物碗, go to the 茶道口 and say 「お湯がたかりませんときは、どうぞお手お鳴らしを」.
  • You hear the chopsticks, open the door, take the 湯斗 etc. and say 「どうもお粗末（そまつ）でした」, to which they say 「ごちそうさまでした」.
  • Take their trays, bowing each time with them.
  • Then bring in the お菓子, and at the door say: 「お菓子お召し上がりの上、席をあらため　とう　ございますので、中立を」. They will say something about ringing a bell when you're finished, and you say 「ことによりまして」
• 中立
  • Take 菓子鉢, close 釜, close the door, roll up the scroll, put the flowers
  • Bring in 水指 and 茶入, open 釜, ring the bell. For less than 5 guests, it's 「大　　小　中中　大」, with a long pause after the first beat allowing them to kneel down.
• 続き薄茶
• Make 濃茶, then after 総礼: 「こくが　うつりましては　ごめいわくと　思いますので、　つづいて　薄茶をさしあげます」.
• Leave with 茶碗 and 建水, bring in 煙草盆 (bowing) and sweets, then continue with 薄茶
• First guest gets the bowl, but gives it to the second guest, and asks to see 茶入 and 仕覆. Change 茶入 and 棗, put them out, then make more tea.
• Bow at the door, then come in again and bow with every guest individually.
• Then at the door say 「おみおくり　ごむように」. They bow, leave. You take the 煙草盆　 and 菓子盆, then peek out of the 茶道口 and bow.

• Arrive 15' before the agreed time. If there's 打水 and if the door is ajar, enter; otherwise, stroll around.
• In the 待合,
  • greet guests who have arrived before you with the fan.
  • prompt the 詰 to inform the 亭主 that everyone has arrived.
  • Initiate bowing for everyone (ご一緒に）together when the cups have arrived; the 詰 will distribute them.
  • Initiate leaving by saying 「それでわ」, the 詰 will gather the cups and close the door with a sound.
  • 正客 goes outside, and prepares sandals for the next guest.
• Go to 腰掛待合 (fan in hand), put 煙草盆 away, and prepare the seats.
  • 煙草盆 is between first and second guest
  • The top one is flipped
  • The others are just spread.
  • Sit with fan in hand
• Everyone stand up, a few steps forward, and greet the 亭主 silently. When you can't see them anymore, return. 正客 then stands up, お先に and put the 円座 towards the wall (裏を見えない). The 詰 will put them down again, and then gather them up again and lock with the 煙草盆. Go to the つくばい and directly into the tea room, picking up your shoes after you. Fan's to the R until you've earned your spot, and stepping with R into your 畳 (because it's not your seat yet).
• 亭主 appears at the door, and everyone bows. Then 正客 sais: どうぞお入りを. Everyone greets the host (for example: 本日はお招き(まねき)いただき、誠に(まこと)ありがとうございます。), then the 正客 again speaks and asks about the things seen in the 待合, comments on the 打水 and, lastly, asks about the scroll.
• 炭: All bow at the entrance. When the first feather begins, お先に and go to see the 炉. If it's 盆香合, ask for 拝見 only once the 香合 is back on the 盆. In that case, get it immediately, otherwise get 香合 when 灰器 leaves. Wait for the big feather to start the 拝見.
• お敷: Slide forward a bit and receive the tray with two hands. Bow while holding it. Put it down, shift back, say お先に and pull the tray over the 畳 border. When all have their tray, say 「それでは、いただきましょう」, and all bow. The other guests might say 「お相伴いたします」. Put lids to the L.
• Receive the 盃台 with a silent bow, then お先に and 感謝 to get your cup. Pass down the 盃台, drink.
• Host will suggest to give you more rice, but you say「どうぞおまかせを」. So you get the rice bucket, and leave your soup bowl (unturned, I presume) with the host. Turn the lid of the rice bucket, pass it down. Take the bucket into L and scoop yourself some rice, being mindful of the timing. The scooping should be finished so when the last guest gets their second soup, the host can take the bucket away.
• 煮物碗: Bow to receive it; then simultaneously lift the lids. Place them on the top R side. Receive the sake, having closed the lid of the soup.
• 焼物 etc.: Bow to receive it, pass it down after saying お先に
• Receive third rice; but refuse the third soup. The host will explain that they eat in the 水谷, so you ask them to join with 「お持ち出しの上で、ご一緒に」(but they can't).
• To 拝見 the bowls, the 詰 places the chopsticks on the top side of their tray and brings you the item.
• Clean 煮物碗. After eating, all bowls etc. should be with the 詰, who will bring them to the 茶道口. Except for the 盃台, that needs to be with the 正客.
• Host apologises for their bad cooking, but you say 「まことに結構(けっこう)にいただきました」
• 箸洗い: Bow to receive.
• 八寸: 正客 receives sake, and 海の物. Same for everyone, then 亭主 comes back:
  • 亭主 sais「お流れを」, then 正客 「別杯(べっぱい)お持ち出しを」.
  • Clean your cup, give it to their R knee; they will give you the tray to your R knee. While the next guest pours them a drink, put some nibbles on a 懐紙 (with the corner folded) and give it to their farther R knee.
  • The next guest get's thirsty and 「お流れを」s the host. So you turn the 八寸盆 again so the host can continue. The host then will ask if he can borrow the cup to drink with the next guest, and after having done so, will place 山の物 for both first and second guest. Then the 千鳥の盃 continues, the 詰 pours twice and then the host will return to the first guest. They might thank you for the cup. They will have one more exchange (first guest, then host), then the first guest says 「どうぞおさめ盃を」(this was the last cup), the host leaves with the cup (おさめ盃させていただきます).
• Then, to indicate that you've really finished with the sake, say 「お湯をいただきます」. Clean the lids of the 箸洗い.
• Pass down the lid of the 湯桶. Take pickles. Holding the 湯桶 in the L, scoop some liquid. (There should still be some rice in the rice bowl). Clean everything with the water and pickles, then initiate the chopstick sound. The host should say how inadequate everything was, and everyone says how great it was (ごちそうさまでした). Slide forward to return the tray, and bow when they take it.
• After the 縁高 is served, the host should announce 中立, and the 正客, normally, says to ring the bell when the time is right (「それでは、中立させていただきますが、ご用意(ようい)が整(ととの)いましたらお鳴(なり)もので」. お先に for the 縁高, and then with the fan to leave the room. Prepare the slippers for the next guest.
• When the gong is sound, stand up and kneel for listen to the bell, then return. Then when the time is right, initiate the going to the つくばい with the お先に, put your 円座 up, then go into the tea room, inspect everything, temporary seat, final seat.
• 濃茶: 「前席では、かずかずのお菓子をどうもありがとうございました」
• If it comes with a 古帛紗, it is initially to the 茶碗's L, take 茶碗 in front, 古帛紗 to the R inside; then 茶碗 between you and the next guest, and bow together. Say to the 亭主　「古帛紗拝借 いたします」. Clean on 古帛紗. Ask for 拝見, the 詰 will separate, clean, and return them separate; again with 古帛紗 to 茶碗's L. 拝見 separately, then return them to the host; 古帛紗 on the 茶碗’s R now, with the fold pointing away from it.
• 続き薄茶: After the first rinsing of the 茶碗, say that the charcoal is burning well and that we'd like 続き薄茶. Host will leave with 茶碗, and bring out 煙草盆, 干菓子 and maybe cushions. When the host takes the 茶杓, both first and second guest take sweets. The second guest will お先に to the first guest. First guest will take the first bowl, and give it to the second guest. When they drink, ask for 茶入 and 仕覆. They take back the bowl to the host, and the first guest fetches the 道具. The second bowl will be fetched by the second guest, but given to the first guest. You put it between yourself and the second guest, and ask them if they'd like to have it. The second guest will ask to 拝見 the 茶碗. Then, ask for 茶杓 and 棗. Make the set complete on your side, then 拝見 it all and return as set.
• 後炭 in 風炉: When the 釜 is shifted back and 鐶 are detached, you ask for the 風炉中の拝見. お先に and let's go. Bye-bye bow for all with the 炭斗.
• 薄茶: Bow to receive 煙草盆 (and put it 90° turned in front of the 床), 干菓子 and cushions. 総礼 with the 水指. Coordinate the お仕舞い or the 御自服.
• Say ciao ciao with the fan. All bow, then say 「おみおくり　ごむよう　に」(please don't see us off). お先に, inspect the room, then leave. Bow silently with the host.

As the guest, you reply to the invitation with the following:

1. Salutation, 拝復, for example (then close with 敬具)
2. Seasonal greeting: Can be some seasonal word like 入梅 (for June) together with の候, and then continue to talk about the host.
3. Their name should always be on top of the page. Wish them well with 「お元気でお過ごしのことと存じます」or something similar.
4. Thanks for the invitation, maybe also saying what a pleasure it was to get the letter.
5. Repeat time and day and confirm that you'll be there.
6. Express concern for the host who'll be busy with the preparations.
7. Explain that normally you'll do a personal 前礼, but that you offer the letter instead.
8. Closing word (fitting the salutation).
9. The date when you're writing the letter (in smaller size)
10. Your name (in smaller size still)
11. On the same level as the salutation, the host's name in bigger size
12. Some honorific like「侍史」for a superior
13. Then you can add some more information in a PS like saying thanks for being a 正客 or things like that.

My petty attempt currently for an invitation in June:

 
 拝復
    入梅の候、
    〇〇様にはお元気でお過ごしのことと存じます。
    このたびは〇月〇日の茶事にお招きをいただき、ありがとうございます。当日は〇〇時〇〇分にお伺いいたします。
    正客のお役、いたらない点もあるかと存じますが、精一杯務めたいと思います。
    ご準備何かとご多忙のことと存じます。どうぞご自愛くださいませ。
    本来ならば前日にごあいさつに伺うべきところ、前礼ながら書中にてお返事申し上げます。
          敬具
       六月吉日
          ニコ
 〇〇様
    侍史